On yesterday, social media erupted in response to a now viral clip of Jada Pinkett Smith’s Red Table Talk. The show is still fairly new, but has made headlines since its inception. The show has done so well that it garnered a 2019 Daytime Emmy nomination. The latest installment of the show featured women of the Curry basketball dynasty. During the show, a myriad of topics came to light and because the red table is a safe space, the women were able to share their truths without judgment. The clip heard ’round the world came from Ayesha Curry who admitted that she sometimes struggles with insecurity when her husbands fans/admirers get a little too close.
“Something that really bothers me and has given me a sense of an insecurity…Yeah, there are all these women throwing themselves. But me, I don’t have any of that. I have zero male attention. And I begin to internalize that, like ‘Is something wrong with me?’ I’m like, ‘That’s not fair.’ I don’t want it. But it would be nice to know that someone’s looking.”
There was a lot in the video and of course a lot to break down. I think the issue is actually in what she said. Many women have said that they feel the same way- in and out of context. I think that snippet has created a conversation that we need to have. How do we satisfy that longing?!? Especially as believers, shouldn’t Christ fill that void? As husbands/wives isn’t that our job to affirm our spouse? I’m glad that that soundbite is out because it creates a conversation around THAT topic. Not everyone can discuss the other issues, but as we see daily many more people can identify with this “surface level” issue.
I believe that as spouses, we do bear the burden of affirming our spouse so that they never doubt themselves whether in our presence or not. This thought that was expressed is not unique and has caused harm in countless relationships. For some, this is the root of infidelity. For others, it is the root of bad treatment and even emotional abuse. YES, other topics were discussed during the show and I am so glad that the Curry women had the chance to talk in that safe space, but I am more glad that we are talking about the insecurity that threatens to rob couples of the joy they find in their union.
On today’s episode of “Talking Points”, I deal with this issue. The first thing we can do to heal this void is to accept these feelings as very real! They are real and are very present. To prevent them from sabotaging the family, I think that us husbands need to take the necessary step of making our wives feel secure and loved by us as best we can. A by-product of our love and security should be high self-esteem and self-awareness. This isn’t always the case because often, the women we love are fighting a battle that began long before they met us.
Many people have spent the day on and off social media discussing only a portion of the very in-depth interview and the debate will continue. I think that instead of debating, we should pull up a chair and listen to the fragile hearts in our lives that feel the same way. Those who are visible but feel unseen, wrapped in a warm embrace yet shivering in a cold reality, those who cannot feel the love they are shown. Let’s create a safe space to discuss emotional security in marriage!